3 Ways to Demolish the “Someday” Mentor Trap

3 Ways to Demolish the “Someday” Mentor Trap

3 Ways to Demolish the “Someday” Mentor Trap 596 300 Mona Corwin

If you’re a Christian woman and you know a woman younger than you are, then there is a job opening for you. 

Help Wanted: Women to help us not mess up so much and to learn about Jesus.
That’s basically it.

The day I learned what mentoring was about I was all in! As a young married woman with 3 kids, I thought the sky had parted. Help was surely on the way. God had not left me defenseless, knee deep in diapers and drying out spiritually. He had a plan. Through scriptures like Psalm 78 and Titus 2 he designed and avenue for women to help women.

My excitement soon dwindled as I realized there weren’t many women who wanted to mentor. I couldn’t understand why there wasn’t a line of older women wanting to help younger women grow in Jesus, their marriages and parenting.

I soon discovered that the art of mentoring had been missing for several generations. Most of the older women I saw still had careers and hobbies that filled their busy lives.

Recently, I was speaking to a group of older women and expounding on the benefits and methods of mentoring. I noticed that some of the women were old enough to have been possible mentors for women like me all those years ago. Why were they just now starting to mentor? I couldn’t resist, so I just bluntly asked, “Why didn’t you mentor long ago?” I was surprised by the answers like:

  • I didn’t know what mentoring was. No one mentored me.
  • Titus 2 sounded out of date in a modern culture.
  • I was too messed up to help anyone else.

But the most common answer was, “Who’s got time for that? I know I should and I really want to… I’ll do it someday.”

You don’t have to fall into the someday trap. This website is created to serve you and equip all your mentoring moments. Perhaps learning ways to incorporate mentoring into your daily life will help you on the way to mentoring. You may not have time to get together with someone in an ongoing mentoring relationship, but you can still bless younger women with your encouragement and hard earned wisdom.

3 Ways to Demolish the “Someday” Trap

1. Be Mindful

As you are going about your day, be mindful of mentoring opportunities. My favorite place to find opportunity is the grocery store. I keep an eye out for women who look like they could use a friendly face and I give them mine. You never know who is struggling on the dairy aisle. Or you might discover a sister that could use a break at the office and then you give her one. Mentoring is coming along side another and pointing them to truth, to peace and to Jesus. And that doesn’t take a lot of time at all.

2. Seize the Moment

Be brave. If you see someone who could use some advice or encouragement, take a deep breath, say a prayer and step into the mentoring moment. A seminary degree isn’t needed to offer encouraging words to the weary woman with two kids screaming in her shopping cart.

Most of us know how it feels to be frustrated and misunderstood. Mentoring offers encouragement to others – that they aren’t alone, we understand and God does too.

3. Lean in and Listen

Intentionally engage. Ask questions and then lean in and listen. Some women may not want to talk but many will. Just someone noticing and saying, “I remember those days, it gets easier.” Or asking, “You ok?” Women are wired for relationships and we have the knack to spot another hurting person. So next time, just go for it and engage with another sister who could use a good word or two.

Okay, so there are three ways to get you started. You can break the “someday trap” by being mindful that mentoring moments are everywhere. Then, be brave and seize those moments as you intentionally lean in and listen to someone else’s heart.

Challenge for the week:
Find a mentoring moment and step into it. Let us know how it went. And to those of you that do mentor, where do you find mentoring moments in your life? Please join the conversation of mentoring below.

And if this blog has encouraged you, please share it with a friend.

Mona Corwin, Creator of the MomsLikeUs Academy, Podcast and Community