International Women’s Day was March 8th. There was much discussion about women, rights, and advancement. However, it seemed there was a section of womanhood left out of the celebration and I wondered “why?”
It’s the best time ever to be a woman. There are no boundaries for taking those God given gifts and talents and developing them into the highest level of excellence.
And although there are places in the world where women are suppressed, here in America women are flourishing. Professional careers are possible and with so many delaying marriage and children, there is plenty of time to climb in the ranks of their field.
Yet, there is a trend that was missing from the rhetoric on March 8th. With all the talk about women advancing in any area of life they might choose, it was interesting that one group was not being encouraged to “advance.”
The trend I’m talking about is women from beauticians to corporate executives, that are going home to raise their children and grow their families.
Who are these women?
Many are career professionals; focused, educated and successful and some are hourly workers tired of pushing someones else’s paper around. They have had enough of the rat race. Enough of dropping their children off into someone else’s care to then pick them up, exhausted after a full day’s work, only to eat fast food, administer baths and stories, and put everybody to bed. All to start it again.
This chaos has resulted in women saying, “Enough!” They have picked up their kids, taken their MBA’s and left the building. They’re choosing to leave the workplace and be moms at home.
Perhaps it’s just what happens when the happily ever after career woman falls in love with motherhood and family.
Forfeiting a salary for a family just makes sense to them. And so they are choosing quality of home life over quantity of bank accounts.
Familiar with setting goals and achieving, they have taken their new position by the reins with the desire to be experts at this mom at home thing. Highly motivated, these women quickly learn the art of making one-dollar stretch to ten, produce spread sheet savvy budgets, cook Paleo and Vegan and set about to grow little people into wonderful adults.
If their children are in school it is common to see them earning money from various endeavors. Determined to keep family the focus they are driving yet another trend, that of the entrepreneur… or mom-preneurs as they lovingly call themselves.
In the era of the Internet, it has never been easier to make money from home. And moms at home are benefiting. From online businesses to selling products and services directly to their community, these moms are connecting and developing networks that offer support and encouragement. In the true sense of community moms are reshaping their worlds.
Help Wanted
You would suppose all would be well. Yet with all their good intent many have found the reshaping and redefining of happily-ever-after a bit like juggling jello.
The art of mothering and family and home doesn’t come with a measuring stick or office manual. And runny noses, though abundant, are not quarterly reports.
So, with the measuring stick of culture removed a girl can wonder:
- Am I doing this right? Ugh. Goggle never had kids. Where can I get good advice I can trust?
- Am I significant? Cuz I feel invisible and maybe someone else really would do a better job raising my kids than me.
- I’m lonely. Is anybody else doing this?
- And why is there the sticky green stuff in my hair again? Sexy? What’s that?
Rewriting your happily-ever-after in a culture that considers your mom-at- home choice a horror flick can leave you questioning those choices. Let’s face it; sometimes it is hard to find good examples, information and mentors. Women who can help you get a clear picture of what motherhood, home, and family should look like.
This could be one of the reasons the lost art of Mentoring is making a big comeback. More younger women are seeking older women to come along side and tell them that everything is going to be all right.
The challenge is that it’s hard to find real flesh and blood women who are willing to mentor and even fewer that have blazed the trail of mom-at-home. It’s easier to find a female CEO.
I was where you are
I get it. I was just like you, trying to figure it out all those years ago. Trying everything and messing up. I thought I was an awful mom and a nagging wife. The world told me what I did was insignificant and could be duplicated at any day care or fast food chain.
My man and I had long before decided that our greatest adventure wasn’t going to be growing wealth or writing books. Our greatest adventure was to grow a family. I knew we were creating something special but sometimes I feared that our adventure wouldn’t end in happily-ever-after. But maybe it’d end in disaster.
We went against the culture anyway. It was lonely for me as a mom-at-home. And at times I wondered if giving up a career path was worth it. But then I’d see my little ones singing and laughing or fighting and screaming (let’s be honest here) and I knew growing a family was more valuable than growing a portfolio.
I needed help!
I just wanted someone to encourage me and not shame me. Someone to point me to practical solutions while helping me heal my spiritual dryness. I kept looking and I kept asking. I vowed then that if given a chance I would help other moms-at-home. The good news is that I finally found several someones along the way that pointed and guided me through my happily-ever-after story.
Any Regrets?
With only one of our 5 children left at home, I’m on the other side of those diapers and diplomas. Regrets? Nope not a one! And YES it was all worth it.
We really did get to grow our family. It isn’t perfect and sometimes it wasn’t pretty. But it’s full of love, loyalty and laughter. And, even when we are apart our hearts are weaved together in a way that is more present than if we were all in one room at the same time.
Today it’s not unusual for my husband or I to say to the other one, “We have the coolest kids on the planet.” (Yes, this is a mom moment. Don’t judge, I earned it. Ha.) But honestly we really do. They are all out impacting the world and creating a sense of family everywhere they go- with our oldest continuing the legacy of family with his very own one. Our hearts are full.
There is no story plot I’d rather live. For there is nothing more valuable than raising children created in the image of God to love Him and others as family.
And just in case your thinking me and my man are in the final scene of our story. Think again. There is no “the end” or “you’re fired” in this story. You won’t find us walking off into the sunset. That’s the beauty of family. It is an ever flowing, unfolding story of happily-ever-after.
Sweet friend, I’ve been where you are and in some cases I’m still doing what you’re doing. I created MonaCowin.org with you in mind. My desire is to be as close to flesh and blood real as I can: A virtual mentor if you will.
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MonaCorwin.org… Mentoring you in the art of motherhood, marriage and creating homes where lives flourish…including your own.
