No one chooses a home atmosphere that is chaos and distant. Yet many of us can wake up one day to find just that. It doesn’t have to be that way. If you have a chaotic home and you want an atmosphere of calm and connection- get excited I’ve got my secrets here for you.
Unlike repainting or cleaning out drawers that take supplies and elbow grease. Choosing a sweet atmosphere for your home is a mindset change. One that allows for a sweet rhythm of life even if that life is active and sometimes loud.
You are the designer of the colors of your house walls, the fabric of your furniture and you get to choose the atmosphere of your home too.
It might be impossible to get a messy heavy stain out of the fabric on your favorite chair. But it’s very possible to get a heavy atmosphere out of your environment and family life.
Let’s face it. No one just drifts into a calm, well-connected family; you have to be intentional and mindful in creating one.
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As women we have a unique ability to create home. It’s part of our core callings. We even have hormones that are released when we are pregnant that cause a “nesting” effect in our minds. We want our nest to be a soft place to land and feathered just right.
Now just like there are no two women the same. There also is no one-way to create a calm and well-connected home. Your family is unique and has its own personality and threshold for activity. This is why you should never compare your home with someone else.
Homes and the lives in them have rhythms. These rhythms ebb and flow according to the season of life, the personalities and schedules of those within the family. But there are something’s that they have in common.
Consider these when you are trying to create a calm atmosphere in your home.
Here are my top 3 rhythms that take your home from chaotic to calm even if it is an active one.
Rhythms that Calm
Have you ever gone into someone’s home and felt so calm and cozy you didn’t want to leave? Or entered a combat zone of a neighbor and couldn’t wait to high tail it out of there?
Then you experienced the atmosphere of their lives within their homes. Here are some things to consider when creating an atmosphere in your home.
As you design your own home rhythms remember to allow your schedule to be flexible and flowing. Some days are peppy and some are calm and lazy. Like if it’s just a crazy day… cut down the chaos by making sure you block out unstructured playtime during the day. Don’t over schedule and don’t rush all the time.
Take notice of extra noise in your home. You can create a calmer atmosphere by turning off the cartoons that are running in the back ground in hopes that it will occupy your little one. And put on some music that fits the mood you want. Like peppy music in morning and softer music at night.
Lightening is said to affect our moods immiscibly. Lowering the lights and limiting “screen light” from iPads and TV screens 1 hour before bedtime helps the brain slow down promoting a deeper and better night sleep. Plus it’s a great time to snuggle and read a book or listen to a story on tape. Focus on the Family has a great adventure series called “Adventure in Odyssey.” It’s like an old fashion radio program and invites your child’s imagination to run free.
Lavender and other essential oils calm those around you. A home that smells good feels good too. Research and try some until you find a favorite.
Rhythms that Connect
Good relationships happen when family members connect. But for this to happen it has to be intentional. These are my tried and trues for when things get chaotic. Remember a calm well connected home doesn’t mean it’s quiet. Ours never is. Ha!
Laughter. Joke books, funny movies, games like minute to win it where everyone gets a chance to be silly.
Forgiving quickly. A character trait that will last a lifetime and cut tension in your home.
Hugging a lot. Physical touch makes everyone feel alive.
Cheerleading. Everyone relishes hearing those they love tell them they are doing great. Teach this to your children and watch the atmosphere of your home change.
Gather regularly. Praying and eating. There is no other activity that brings a family together better than praying and eating together. We practiced the “one conversation rule” at our table. Everyone got to talk and be listened to one at a time. At a recent family gathering I noticed our adult children still do this.
Look into each other’s eyes as much as possible. The eyes connect. You can feel someone’s love in their eyes.
Rhythms that are Non-Cluttered
You knew this was coming. Chaos is lessened when things are in order. While it’s true that you don’t live in a museum and don’t want to be yelling “pick that up” at your kids all day. You do need to have some sense of organization.
I haven’t always been organized and neat. In fact, when I was a teenager my mother put an eviction notice on my door and threatened to band me to the basement to live. (Don’t tell my kids)
But when I became a mother and I was the designer of my home I wanted it to run smoothly. Did my kids always have clean rooms? Nope. In fact I think they might have been worse than I was. (Good thing my mom wasn’t their mom. Ha.) But we still had calm and connection.
De-cluttering important areas in our home and keeping those straightened and neat created a sense of calm for us. And we worried less about the messy playroom or the teenager bedrooms (no names given but you know who you are.)
You design your environment so think about what room in the house would be calm for you if it were clutter free? Then focus on that room to create a calm cozy spot for you.
It’s Your Nest
You were made for creating home. One that perfectly fits your nest and your little family. Learn its ebb and flow and feather away lil Mumma till its calm, connected and just right.