Fingerprints and DNA prove there is only one YOU. On the timeline of time, there is only one footprint that can bear your name. God says we are fearfully and wonderfully created, making plans designed just for us. Yet we envy and covet what He’s given others.
In Part One of “The Corruption of Feminine Envy,” we looked the enemy straight in the face. In Part Two, we will pin down this sinister emotion, its mayhem, and solutions for knocking it out of our lives.
Defining
Corruption: the state of depravity, decay and rottenness. Envy is like a corruption that eats at us causing pain. It’s not the other woman, her car or her hair.
Envy: an ungodly discontented desire, passion, lust, greed, jealousy obsession, longing or a craving desire for things and people that aren’t supposed to be yours.
In short, envy is when you don’t want what God wants for you. Our pain is in fact self-inflicted and we become the victim of our own envy.
Example
You’re having a perfectly happy morning. You put on your favorite outfit, curled your hair and head out. Arriving at your destination, you find women in fancier cars, new fashions and salon-looking hair.
Beware… envy might be getting ready to punch your soul. Are you familiar with that awful feeling of discontentment and jealousy? Does it start like this?
- I wish I had that (_____).
- It’s not fair. I don’t have that!
- She gets (______) and I don’t.
Sound familiar? We all do it. And while it seems like thinking jealous thoughts is no big deal, God says those thoughts are serious – very serious. So serious, He put them in the 10 commandments.
“Thou shall not covet.” Deut. 5:21
Not Happy
He warns us not to covet. He knows thoughts left unchecked awakens discontentment in our minds that lead to trouble. Our thinking spirals from bad to worse and ends in strife and self-pity.
The sad truth and bottom line: You’re not happy with what God has given you and you want what isn’t yours.
A little thing?
Nope.
James 3:16 “Where there is envy and strife there is confusion and every evil thing.”
Envy breeds discontent, jealousy and causes strife. Permeating the atmosphere, causing trouble wherever it shows up. What’s worse is that it corrupts relationships. Every evil thing? Nothing little about it, yet we ignore this so called little “sin problem.”
Me too!
NOTE: this is a mentoring blog — not a condemnation blog. I’m here to speak truth and sometimes it’s hard truth. I know it’s hard because I’ve dealt with this too. I’d like to tell you that when envy showed up, I punched it in the face and it never showed up again. But that’s not what happens. The enemy of my soul knows just how to introduce it back into my thinking. And left unchecked, I will soon feel the painful corruption of my heart.
But God doesn’t leave you or me defenseless against envy.
Here are 5 Strategies to knock out envy before it takes a punch at you.
#1 You’re Not a Victim
What a wake up call when I realized we aren’t victims. That car, house or the other person’s hair isn’t responsible for your pain. You are. You are choosing to be envious. You are hurting yourself.
Envy at its core is discontentment with what God has provided. (ugh, right?)
Let’s be honest. Although envy is part of our sinful nature, as believers, we are new creations that possess new hearts. Friends, we don’t just need new habits and behaviors, we need to use those hearts and choose contentment.
#2 Reframing
When you find yourself tempted to envy, stop and reframe the way you think about it.
Ex: A friend writes a book. Discontented thoughts start playing in my head. I can let envy punch me, or I can reframe my thoughts with others.
*“If she can do it, I might be able to. I’m going to ask her for some tips.”
*”God, I have a desire to write. Can you show me if that is your desire?”
* “I’m glad she was able to write her book. I’m going to ask her where to get it!”
#3 Choose Contentment
To be content does NOT mean to settle. As if to say, “Oh well, I’ll never ________, so I’ll just bite my tongue and be content with things the way they are.” Ugh poor me.
God doesn’t want settling, He wants us to seek Him. He’s not a God of scarcity, creating only few awesome life plans. He’s God! His Word says He created a special plan for everyone. Even you. Created before time especially for you to walk here on earth. Why would you desire anything but our own plan?
#4 Get Excited
Embrace God’s plan, and get excited. Then choose to be excited for what He has for your sisters, too. He’s working in all of us. Things will change when we stop wanting what God’s given someone else.
#5 Knock-Out Punch
There’s a feminine strategy the enemy doesn’t want us to know. He distracts with envy and strife to keep women from finding it. However, God knows. As we seek Him in unity, gifting and prayer, we will know too. The world has yet to see the power from God that will show up in a group of unified women, walking surrendered together behind Him.
Sisters, let’s vow to take responsibility for our envy and give that sinister enemy a knock-out punch. Let’s find contentment and purpose together so we can show the world the faithfulness of our God.
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Let’s chat…
What lie has that sinister enemy tried to fool you with? I’ll start first.
Or what advice would do you have for someone battling envy?
The lie I believed was that I wasn’t smart enough to write a book. I would envy people who had the umph to get it done. Envy kept me from trying for a long time.
My advice? well I already gave you it… what advice do you have for us sisters out here?