Sweet mumma, have you ever found yourself unintentionally slipping into behaviors that you never thought you’d have in your marriage? I know I have.
Because of this, I had to go through a journey of self-discovery and growth. This one required me to confront uncomfortable truths about myself and my relationships.
But it was worth it. I learned a major lesson that transformed my marriage and reshaped my perspective on what it means to be a supportive wife.
And so today, I want to share this wisdom with you, just as it was shared with me.
The Story of Improving My Marriage and Unlocking the Greatness in My Man
Let me start by admitting something: I didn’t set out to be the kind of wife who controls, degrades, or runs over her husband. I wanted nothing more than for my husband to thrive and be the best version of himself. But somewhere along the way, amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, I lost sight of that intention.
It took an encounter with an older, wiser woman to shine a light on the truth I had been blind to. She shared a simple yet profound secret: men are relatively simple creatures. They crave honor, adoration, and life’s simple pleasures—a good meal and some regular lovin’.
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that in my quest to be a strong and independent woman, I had inadvertently emasculated my husband. I was treating him more like a child than the capable, strong man that he is. It was a sobering realization—one that demanded action.
So, I began a journey of self-improvement and marital growth. I sought guidance, learned from my mistakes, and committed to making changes. And you know what? It worked.
By honoring and respecting my husband, by allowing him to lead and supporting him in his dreams, I unlocked a man I didn’t even know existed—a man I deeply admire and love to this day.
What were the changes I made to improve our marriage?
I began to honor and adore my husband.
By recognizing and appreciating the God-given qualities and desires of your spouse, you’ll pave the way for mutual respect and understanding.
You may not like everything that he does, but there is something you can verbally communicate. Tell him that and watch him stand up a little taller. Do you know why? Because it came from you. Try these things. Thank him for how hard he works for you in the kids.
I let my husband lead.
This doesn’t imply relinquishing your autonomy or independence. This is about creating an environment where you both will thrive in your respective roles. I believe in equal partnership in marriage. But are you always ruling the roost?
Try using phrases like, “Would it work for you if…?” “I was wondering what you thought about this?”
How about this one: “I know we disagree on this, but I trust your judgment. You decide.”
I showed my husband respect through my words and actions.
You need to understand that men, in particular, have a deep-seated need for respect. This can be done by affirming their worth and contributions. Whether through words of affirmation or actions of appreciation, expressing your respect for all that your man does and is, will build a strong bond between you.
I recognized the importance of intimacy and connection.
Physical intimacy is a powerful expression of love and desire. Be intimate often. Initiate intimacy. This will show your man how thankful you are to be his.
So mumma, if you find yourself in a similar situation, feeling stuck or discouraged in your marriage, know that change is possible. It starts with acknowledging where you’ve gone wrong and committing to making things right.
My challenge for you today is to reflect on your own relationships. Are there areas where you could do better? Are there changes you can make to honor and uplift your husband?
It’s never too late to course-correct and build a stronger, more fulfilling marriage.
I’m here for you.
Hugs, Mona
