The 2018 Winter Olympics are over and the winners are in the record books. Thinking about the narrow wins and loses I wondered how those athletes kept going and why the “never enough” syndrome I feel didn’t get them down when they crashed or lost their goals and dreams.
It was interesting. They all seem to have the same responds to the media. Answering media questions with a mic smashed to their face.
- “I was happy with that run.”
- “Wow, was that a blast! Almost lost it on the hill but pulled it out.”
- “I came here to win and glad I did my best.”
Not once did you hear:
- “It figures, I’d come in 4th”
- “The judges aren’t fair”
- “I quit this is so stupid and so am I!”
Nope Olympians have a can do spirit about them. They believe that when they fail its just one more step to making themselves better to become a champion.
How do they do it? THEY COMPLIMENT THEMSELVES!
Wow what a novel idea. In our culture we are taught:
- Not to brag on yourself.
- Counting your strengths is haughty.
- And rehearsing your victories is prideful.
No wonder we are so wrapped up in the never enough syndrome. It’s all we allow ourselves to think about.
If all we do is rehearse our failures then how will we ever find the courage to do brave new things?
I know you might be thinking “It feels weird to say nice things to myself.” I get it.
So when is complimenting yourself ok to do?
How about daily! How about when “never enough” and its cousins “woulda, shoulda, and coulda” show up. How about when you think no one notices how hard you are working?
It’s Biblical! The scripture says King David encouraged himself in the Lord. He recounted his victories. And so should you. Jesus said nothing is impossible with God. And Philippians 4:13 says: “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
What to break the “more than enough” cycle of defeat?
Start with the best of YOU!
This very day I want you to look at your life and find something that is a victory or strength. Then I want you to look in the mirror and compliment yourself. Yep, don’t wait for someone else to tell you good job, you do it.
You saw this one coming, I huge on being thankful. It is the thing that has gotten me through my entire life and when it’s missing I know it.
Even it is messed up huge I find something to be thankful for like:
- Opportunities to try again
- My abilities that are growing
- Staying in my lane and trying again
- A God that likes me even when I fail
What would you say to your kids?
Imagine what you would say to a toddler who fell when trying to walk. Or how about when a mean girl bullied your daughter yet again. That’s how! We moms speak life and encouragement over them daily. How about showering yourself with some life giving words?
Yep, ask Jesus to help you see yourself the way he does. Allow yourself to be kind to yourself, I mean really kind. Life is hard enough without bashing ourselves. He is our best cheerleader. His voice is always positive even when showing us a better way. If you hear negative chatter that’s NOT God.
Get the mean girl out of your head
As women this never enough syndrome bombards us in the media, Hollywood and even our dear Instagram. Let’s agree to stop doing it to ourselves.
Do a new brave thing
James 1: 22-25 tells us that if we listen and do put into action what we learn than it is nothing. Make a brave step today to try something new or try again in something.
Give your heart
And incase you don’t know.
Your mothering matters, your marriage matters and you matter. Give it your best effort; compliment yourself for trying and for victories. Who knows with one more try you just might be like the Olympians and find gold at the finish line.
Watch The Video
For those of you that prefer to hear a shorter version of this post, here is Mornings With Mona Broadcast, episode #124.