mothering

5 Essentials You Need to Know to Raise Secure Kids
5 Essentials You Need to Know to Raise Secure Kids 150 150 Mona Corwin

Ever look at your kids and wonder how the same kids living in the same house could be so different?

I mean one kid will crumble under a serious correcting glance and the other one has you feeling like CPS might be coming soon. One might color all day and the other doesn’t want to do anything but talk.

Of course the answers isn’t difficult. They are all different because they were created different.

We all want our children to be secure in their abilities. But the more important goal is for them to find security in the Gift Giver himself- God.

I have 5 kids and none are the same. They don’t even dress the same except when they had to wear uniforms at school.

Consequently not every method or activity will work for every one of your kids. But not to worry. God gave you mumma eyes and you will be able to see and direct them.  In my “Design Your UnRivaled MomLife” the women are discovering their identity, callings and unique abilities. And as moms you can help your children find theirs too.

Helping them discover their identity and unique abilities is part of what mothering is all about. And you have a front row seat for the action.

I’ve been front row watching for years and my best piece of advice…

Don’t miss the greatest treasure about their gifts and talents which is this – they come special to them from God.

We all want our children to be secure in their abilities. But the more important goal is for them to find security in the Gift Giver himself- God.
Here are 5 points to grow secure kids:

#1. Point them to the gift giver – God.

Show them from Gensis that they were created in God’s image and have value because of His love and not in their performance.

#2.  They have a part to play.

Not only did God create them in his image He also created them uniquely for the timeslot they live in.

#3. Gifts and Talents make life fun and fulfilling.

You want them to enjoy their gifts and talents but to also understand that they were given to bless others too. It is through these special traits that God’s character and love shows up.

#4. It takes time.

They don’t have to be the best or perfect at a gift or talent for it to be fun. Just grow and learn and that you will be there to help.

#5. Security only comes from God.

Being good at something can give you confidence and that’s a good thing. But if your security and purpose is found in your gifts and talents you will never fully enjoy them. Knowing that God gives gifts and talents with a path and a plan in mind keeps us looking to Him for direction and success.

Life can be confusing as you are growing and that’s why God gave kids parents. Parents are the ones that help and direct. How wonderful to know that someone is watching over you and will help you find the way. And pointing them to the Gift Giver is the best way to raise kids that not only find security in God but also find refuge, grace and love too.

What special things do you see in each of your children? Make a list and start asking God to help you find their gifts and talents.

Share this with another mom you love.

Mom tears

Mom Tears: If You’re A Mom You Get It!
Mom Tears: If You’re A Mom You Get It! 500 500 Mona Corwin

It was happening again. The TSA guy at the Nashville airport was giving me the eye. Not because I looked suspicious but because I was crying. Again. You know that ugly cry that has people wondering if your being abused or taken against your will. Actually, for me it felt like both. I was about to board a plane that would separate me from two of my adult kids by hundreds of miles. I knew I shouldn’t be crying. They are both happy and flourishing in God’s plan for them. I knew I would see them very soon. And I knew I couldn’t stop crying. Ugh. I wish I could get better at leaving them but I fail every time at pulling off a cheery goodbye.

 

If you’re a mom you get it.

You might even get a lump in your throat just reading my intro. You get it because mothers are connected to their children in a miraculous way. Perhaps God knew how much love and work it would take to be a mother. Perhaps He knew about the constant laying aside of her own life a woman would sacrifice for her children to be able to live their own. But I think He chose mothers for a great purpose. Motherhood reveals to the world a part of God, His tenderness and His love that could never be displayed if there were no mothers.

God embedded a mystery inside a woman that mirrors His loving care of His own children. What a privilege to represent God in such a special way.

If you’re a mom you get it.

Did you know that from the beginning God created motherhood to be pain free and void of tears? But because of the Eve’s fall in the garden, the curse of “pain in childbirth” entered and still exists today.

However, God is a good God and although there is pain He has lavished motherhood with a joy/pain/pride combo that sustains us all throughout our mothering.

If you’re a mother you may recognize some of these:

  • The sorrow of miscarriage ends in the joy birth.
  • The defeat of infertility gives way to the exhilaration of adoption.
  • After 9 months we can’t wait to give birth. Only to discover that having our baby in another room makes us uneasy.
  • The excitement of the first day of kindergarten crumbs as our “super hero backpack” boy walks into a classroom and the doors shut and we can’t see him.
  • Tears of pride run as our child crosses a hard earned finish line after years of frustration just getting them to practice.
  • A new season begins as the thrill of a college found produces tears of where did the time go.
  • And then the joyful watershed of understanding as your child looks at you with new eyes as she holds her first child.

 She’s a mom now and so she gets it.

It’s a hard thing to explain how a mother’s tears can flow with joy, pride and pain all at the same time. It’s just the way it is… Mom’s cry and sometimes they just can’t explain it. And whether they are the silent streams running down her face, or the gushing Kleenex blowing kind. One thing is for sure. A mother’s tears speak volumes about the deep love she carries in her heart for her children. A God placed love that only He and they understand.

And if you’re a mom you get it.

Girl,  it’s Mother’s Day, go ahead and cry if you want to. It’s ok if people are puzzled and wonder why. They may not understand this God created mystery called motherhood.

May I suggest that you just embrace the tenderness that God placed in your heart? Counting it as a beautiful gift from God.

So, go ahead grab a tube of waterproof mascara and a pretty box of Kleenex and let those tears flow. Oh and when you see another mom tearing up, hand her a few tissues and offer a knowing glance because…

You’re a mom and you get it.

Tell us your best “Mom Tears” story.

Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter.

busy moms

4 Ways To Savor Moments In a Busy Season
4 Ways To Savor Moments In a Busy Season 500 334 Mona Corwin

May is a busy time for moms. I have wondered if the “calendar makers” saw this crazy busy time and felt guilty. They must have known mothers were going to have a hectic go of it.

My theory is that’s exactly why a day honoring Mother’s is smack dab in the middle of May. Just look at a little of the list.

Field trips, End of year parties, Proms, Sports Banquets, Scheduling for summer, Older kids coming home.

And don’t forget Weddings, showers, Grad parties.

Ahhh…. There aren’t enough minutes in the month. Lots of busy moms. We hate to rush through it all but what else can you do when busy will be the only description of your month?

My Do Over

As a young mom I missed lots of moments rushing to get it all in and done in Pinterest perfect style. If I had to do it over, I’d savor more of the moments and replace perfect for simple.

I still can get a little frazzled when a hectic week or month come my way. But I have learned a few things. Check them out below.

Here’s The Big Idea

[Tweet “Time will not be managed- You must manage your time. Time will not be managed- You must manage your time. Time will not be managed- You must manage your time. Time will not be managed- You must manage your time.”]

#1 Manage Your Interruptions.                

I know your laughing. You’re a mom and interruptions are the norm. I’m talking about interruptions that are distractions.

  • Turn off all notifications. The amount of distraction from this alone will put calm into your day. You do not have to be notified every time you get an email or when someone pinned your last pin. You don’t have to know if someone pinned your pin. The distraction and having to refocus just isn’t worth it.The amount of distraction from this alone will put calm into your day. You do not have to be notified every time you get an email or when someone pinned your last pin. You don’t have to know if someone pinned your pin. The distraction and having to refocus just isn’t worth it.

Trust me I feel your pain. While I am writing this my email pinged 4 times and that little red circle on my imessage keeps adding numbers. I feel a strong urge to respond. But I know that distraction actually wastes time and I want to get this post out to you.

Instant notification of any kind may make you feel like you are more productive or multi-tasking. But it actually wastes time. Breaking your focus and then realigning your focus takes time. And that time adds up. It’s impossible to savor the moments when you are being jolted in and out of the now. Try one of these strategies:

  • Check your phone only once an hour.
  • Check emails in the morning and evening. You are trying to stay sane during a hectic season. Reading emails and deciding whether you can answer, what to answer or then respond to, adds distraction and urgency that compounds your already full day.

#2 Put Boundaries on Your Social Media

DO NOT skip reading this paragraph- you know I’m right.

Does this sound familiar:

You feel stressed or tired and just want to zone out for a second. You pull up Pinterest or Facebook. You breathe deeply and sigh as you feel the distraction zone arrive and, your shoulders start relaxing. (No need to ask how I know this. Right?) But then you look up and 30 minutes of nothing has past and that’s 30 minutes of nothing done. Result? Guilt ensues along with frustration and relaxed shoulders tense up again.

  • Toss the guilt. You can and should enjoy your social media time. I say schedule it. Savoring special time for just you and your social media. It’s ok in fact it is relaxing. Just make sure you are savoring time and not wasting it.
  • Use boundary bonuses. Make a deal with yourself that you can’t log in until the dishes are done and the kids are in bed. Then get yourself some hot tea and savor your scrolling.
  • Don’t watch the clock. That’s right. You scheduled it and you get it. Use your phone timer to set a done time. Then relax and savor the moment without interruption.
  • Be bold delete the apps from you phone. I know this one has you wondering if that’s going to far. Try it. You can always reinstall them.

 #3 Plan Ahead

One of the perks of being a SAHM is we can be flexible. However, if you know it’s going to be a crazy week or month don’t just let life happen to you. Be proactive and think ahead. Busy times are not the best time to schedule your yearly doctor appointments or sign up for a cooking class. Check out these proactive ideas.

Find an organizer/calendar and use it

  • This has been my best offense as a SAHM. (Don’t miss a resource. Sign up in the sidebar on this page to be notified when a new free content comes out.)
  • Make sure the things you need for school trips and parties are close at hand.
  • Purchase a few gift cards for quick gifts.
  • Write down 10 dinner ideas and get the non-perishables early.
  • Freeze a few extra meals.
  • Make sure you are stocked up on staples like detergent, paper towels and dog food. Extra trips to the store only eat up time.

#4 Intentionally Savoring the Simple

Savoring only happens if you create a calm moment to experience them. It’s not just going to happen. You will have to make it happen. Probably even schedule it. No phone, no TV, no have to’s.

You can be intentional but it will take tenacity to do it. The tyranny of the urgent will always try to grab your moments. During a busy season don’t let it steal your moments.

Simple with your kids

Not everything you do with your kiddos has to be Pinterest worthy. It doesn’t even have to advance their skills or be put on Instagram. Simple means exactly that-simple.

  • Grab a few books to read, play blocks or just tickle.
  • Take a deep breath and just interact with your sweet kiddo.
  • Relish their preciousness and cute noses.
  • Laugh-just laugh and they will laugh too. It’s fun!

While its true that hectic times are inevitable. It is also true that they can still be enjoyed. So, plan ahead. Cut down on distractions that suck your attention. Place boundaries and limits around passive activities. And create intentional simple moments that put a breather into the rush of life and savor the moments.

 

Don’t go it alone.

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Mona Corwin, Creator of the MomsLikeUs Academy, Podcast and Community