discipleship

5 Essentials You Need to Know to Raise Secure Kids
5 Essentials You Need to Know to Raise Secure Kids 150 150 Mona Corwin

Ever look at your kids and wonder how the same kids living in the same house could be so different?

I mean one kid will crumble under a serious correcting glance and the other one has you feeling like CPS might be coming soon. One might color all day and the other doesn’t want to do anything but talk.

Of course the answers isn’t difficult. They are all different because they were created different.

We all want our children to be secure in their abilities. But the more important goal is for them to find security in the Gift Giver himself- God.

I have 5 kids and none are the same. They don’t even dress the same except when they had to wear uniforms at school.

Consequently not every method or activity will work for every one of your kids. But not to worry. God gave you mumma eyes and you will be able to see and direct them.  In my “Design Your UnRivaled MomLife” the women are discovering their identity, callings and unique abilities. And as moms you can help your children find theirs too.

Helping them discover their identity and unique abilities is part of what mothering is all about. And you have a front row seat for the action.

I’ve been front row watching for years and my best piece of advice…

Don’t miss the greatest treasure about their gifts and talents which is this – they come special to them from God.

We all want our children to be secure in their abilities. But the more important goal is for them to find security in the Gift Giver himself- God.
Here are 5 points to grow secure kids:

#1. Point them to the gift giver – God.

Show them from Gensis that they were created in God’s image and have value because of His love and not in their performance.

#2.  They have a part to play.

Not only did God create them in his image He also created them uniquely for the timeslot they live in.

#3. Gifts and Talents make life fun and fulfilling.

You want them to enjoy their gifts and talents but to also understand that they were given to bless others too. It is through these special traits that God’s character and love shows up.

#4. It takes time.

They don’t have to be the best or perfect at a gift or talent for it to be fun. Just grow and learn and that you will be there to help.

#5. Security only comes from God.

Being good at something can give you confidence and that’s a good thing. But if your security and purpose is found in your gifts and talents you will never fully enjoy them. Knowing that God gives gifts and talents with a path and a plan in mind keeps us looking to Him for direction and success.

Life can be confusing as you are growing and that’s why God gave kids parents. Parents are the ones that help and direct. How wonderful to know that someone is watching over you and will help you find the way. And pointing them to the Gift Giver is the best way to raise kids that not only find security in God but also find refuge, grace and love too.

What special things do you see in each of your children? Make a list and start asking God to help you find their gifts and talents.

Share this with another mom you love.

Kristen Clark

Hollywood’s Best Kept Secret About Your Womanhood (Kristen Clark)
Hollywood’s Best Kept Secret About Your Womanhood (Kristen Clark) 2048 1472 Mona Corwin

{I am so excited to share this guest post with you. I met these two a few years ago and I have adored them ever since. Their style and approach to Biblical womanhood is bold and beautiful. And I was thrilled to hold their new book on it in my hands. Just check out this post and then go grab you a copy of Girl Defined by Kristen Clark & Bethany Baird. Your gonna love this! oh and leave a comment below and you might win a free copy!}

 

She starred in thirty major films and was awarded the Golden Globe for “Female World Film Favorite.” She started her own production company and was voted “2nd Greatest Movie Star” of all time by Premiere Magazine. She was chosen by Empire Magazine as one of the “100 Sexiest Stars in Film History.”

This blonde bombshell was beautiful, talented, successful, and seemed to have everything a woman could dream of, except for one thing – happiness.

Sadly, this famous superstar committed suicide on August 5, 1962. She was only 36 years old. Her makeup covered face, dyed blonde hair, and sparkling clothes only hid what she was feeling on the inside.

Depressed. Unloved. Alone.

This is the true story of America’s most iconic woman, Marilyn Monroe.

As I’ve studied the life of this beautiful and famous woman, I can’t help but ask the questions, “Why would a woman who had everything still commit suicide?” “Why wasn’t the fame, beauty, money, and guys enough to satisfy her?”

Sadly, not many people stop to ask these tough questions about Marilyn’s tragic life. Instead of questioning her fruitless quest for happiness, many of us follow right in her footsteps.

My sister, Bethany, and I wrote a more detailed version of Marilyn’s story in the opening chapters of our new book, Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity.

Like Marilyn, millions of modern women are chasing after happiness and satisfaction down the same dead end road. Without even realizing it, many of us have bought into Hollywood’s popular lies about beauty, femininity, and identity.

In chapter three of our new book, Girl Defined, we refer to these crafty lies as “counterfeit femininity.” As Christian women, many of us buy into the lies that to be worth anything we need to be pretty, sexy, smart, athletic, skinny, wealthy, popular, etc.

We believe the lie that our worth as a female is based on our beauty and on our personal accomplishments.

Believing that lie is right where Marilyn went wrong, and it’s right where many of us go wrong as well.

“The moment we allow culture to define our womanhood is the moment we take our first wrong turn.” –Girl Defined

Whether you’re the “hottest blonde bombshell” on the planet or not, if we define our womanhood on anything other than God’s timeless Word, we will always feel empty inside. We will forever struggle with feelings of worthlessness and depression until we turn to the only One who has the power to fill our void.

True worth, identity and satisfaction cannot be found outside of God’s beautiful design for us as females. And that’s where the BEST news comes into play: Our status of worthiness has nothing to do with us and everything to do with God.

No matter how famous and pretty a woman is, or how poor and unattractive she is, her worth and value are found in the same place.

Our worth doesn’t come from anything we can do, but from everything Christ already did for us. If you’re a Christian, God calls you a child of God. And because you’re a child of God, He looks at you and sees royalty. You are a daughter of the most high King.

Psalm 139:13­-14 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Not only are you a daughter of the King, God was knitting you together in your mother’s womb to look just the way you are. Just like an artist creating a masterpiece, God handcrafted your hair color, eye color, skin tone, height, nose shape, ears, and body to look just the way He wanted it to.

Our culture may not consider you to be very special, but God does. And He’s the only One who owns the rights to say how worthy you are.

If Marilyn Monroe had understood these truths, her life probably would have ended very differently. The secret to true happiness in this world is to keep your eyes and heart on THE Truth. The minute you look to someone or something other than Christ to define your worth and identity, you will go downhill. It’s a guarantee.

As Psalm 16:11 says, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

The more I have come to understand and embrace God’s design for my life, the happier and more fulfilled I have become. I challenge you to take the time to learn more about God’s beautiful design for womanhood! I hope you’ll grab a copy of Girl Defined and continuing discovering God’s amazing and beautiful design for your life as a female.

If you’ve ever struggled with feelings of worthlessness, discontentment with your body, lack of fulfillment, relationship problems, or confusion about your identity – this book is for you.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic as well as any additional insights you have. Please share whatever is on your heart and mind in the comment section below.

  • Who or what are you allowing to define your worth and value?
  • Do you truly view yourself as a daughter of the King? Why or why not?

PS I would love to give you a FREE copy of my new book! Just comment below to be automatically entered into the book giveaway contest.

Written by: Kristen Clark

Good Job Lil Mumma (Amy Pierson)
Good Job Lil Mumma (Amy Pierson) 1774 1774 Mona Corwin

<GUEST POST> My sweet friend Amy Pierson is guest posting for us this week. Amy is our social media director and she does a great job. Amy has worn many hats in her lifetime including, Girls Minister at Prestonwood Church. She was my co-author for “Table for Two” published by Lifeway in 2010. Since then Amy has taken her on her favorite role of SAHM and is flourishing with her husband Kyle and 2 little ones in Plano, Texas. 

Today is Palm Sunday. For the last few weeks I’ve been texting back and forth sharing Easter ideas with girlfriends who have kids with similar ages. One of my friends even wrote a blog filled with great ideas! I’m so thankful for the encouragement we all get from each other!  

My 19 month old was sick with a fever and I sadly couldn’t go to church this am. My husband took my very excited 3 year old. She’s generally an excited kid, but today she was bouncing off the walls. We had been talking about Easter with the Jesus Storybook Bible, resurrection eggs, and crafts. I knew our church would give her a palm branch. I told her as they were leaving and she was thrilled! She came home waving it and squealing hosanna non-stop. I cracked up and took a video to email to my family. I just happened to be texting with Mona, a mom mentor, so I sent her the video. She immediately wrote back, “adorable! Good job lil mumma!”

I shared the video on Instagram later, but Mona’s congrats felt better than all the likes. I knew she wasn’t just “liking” that my kid is funny or cute. She was affirming that reading to my kids and getting my kid excited about Christ is well worth it. She was reminding me that making even the smallest disciple takes effort but it is a job well done.

It is too fun and easy to snap a pic and get liked on social media. I mean we all have cute kids, and it’s not our fault they’re hilarious too. Ha

But, her text reminded me that I’m so blessed to have a group of godly older women who not only agree my kid is cute, but affirm my training and teaching them. The days can be long and physically exhausting, but I’m thankful to look up from the diapers and see godly older women who have godly adult kids cheering me on.

Do you have a godly woman at your church who gives you and others an awesome example to not only persevere but also enjoy this season of littles? Send this to her and tell her job well done!

So, hop over to Facebook , Twitter  or Instagram and Tell us about someone who encourages you.

MonaCorwin.org … Mentoring you in the art of motherhood, marriage and creating homes where lives flourish…including your own.

fun ways to memorize scripture

20 Unique & Fun Scripture Memory Tools for Moms & Kids
20 Unique & Fun Scripture Memory Tools for Moms & Kids 288 288 Mona Corwin

In last week’s post, “Fight for your Family… want to know how?” we learned why having scripture on the tip of your tongue is a tool for defense in protecting your family from evil. And that tool is a must for today’s mothers and wives.

Staying tethered to what God says about things is the surest way to fight for your family. Bottom line, nothing else does what His word can.

This week, it’s all about the methods. I have a list of unique and practical ways to “show you the how” in memorizing scripture and teaching your kids how to with you.

Honestly, it has to start with you. You were made by God to bring life into your family. You are uniquely equipped to bring the transforming life of God’s word into your family. This all starts when you experience the revelation of scripture and it becomes real in your own life.

Methods and Apps for You

Some of these are my tried and true, and some I haven’t tried either but am excited to.

1. Fighter Verse App

This is my new go-to app for memorizing scripture.

 

  • 1000+ verses pre-loaded
  • Choice of six Bible translations
  • Three unique quizzes
  • Configurable schedule for weekly memorization
  • Review function
  • “My Verses” allows you to add your own verses
  • Includes “Foundation Verses” – a collection of verses for preschool children
  • Links to songs, weekly blog posts and much more!

2. Scripture Typer

Amazing app. Type it. Memorize it. Master it.

Works for 3 types of learners: audio, visual & kinesthetic.

  • 10 translations
  • 55 categories of verses
  • challenging game type
  • record your verses and play them back

3. YouVersion Bible App

The most all around app around. 160 million devices worldwide can’t be wrong. It’s got a lot in it but that can be distracting when just memorizing scripture. A must on my phone.

 

4. Power of Persuasion

Love this method. Set your phone alarm for different times of the day. It could be a wake-up call or a task driven alarm.

Set your alarm time. Use a scripture ora scripture address for the alarm label. How much better would the morning or task be if God’s word was the first thing coming out of your mouth at the sound of an alarm?

Instead of “ugh, its time to wake up?” you say, “This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118: 24

  • Exercise alarm

“She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong.” Proverbs 31:17

  • Wake kids/make breakfast

             “She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household.” Proverbs 31:15

  • Lunch alarm

            “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

We all need to be persuaded to do certain things. Let’s do them with the word on our lips.

5. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

You probably already do this one. But it is the best!

Write your verse on your bathroom mirror. While you are brushing your teeth, day and night, repeat it. Of course you’d have to do that in your head because the toothbrush is in your mouth!

6. Log in your memory

Quite simple. Change the password on your computer to the verse address of the day. Like: John 3:16. Then, before you open your computer you recite the verse.

7. Pop it-Post it notes

Seems simple, but this method incorporates two tried and true methods; writing and the element of surprise.

Write your verse on ten different sticky notes. Then post those notes around your life. Whenever you see one, your brain will “pop” into the scripture. When it does, say it out loud. This is actually scientific and simple.

8. Notecard ring

This has been my go-to for years. I learned it from Beth Moore, and that girl knows her scripture. Now I do, too.

I keep a notecard spiral with all my scriptures that I learn in it. It’s fun to keep track.

9. Word Swag App

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You know you do it for everything else! Now, do it for scripture. I just did one with my own pictures – check it out on my Instagram.

10. [modal_text_link name=”scriptureguide” class=”” id=””]Scripture Guide[/modal_text_link]

This is my personal guide. A quick resource sheet that lists lies that need to be removed and the truth scriptures that transform and bring truth to every lie. (This guide is free for you. I’m almost done with it – Making it oh so pretty! [modal_text_link name=”scriptureguide” class=”” id=””]Click here[/modal_text_link] and I’ll send it to your inbox when I get it done.)

[modal name=”scriptureguide” title=”I want the Scripture Guide!” size=”small” background=”” border_color=”” show_footer=”no” class=”” id=””][mc4wp_form id=”5639″][/modal]

BONUS Music: The Word of God

I’m so glad God gave these musicians the talent and that they are using it in this unconventional way. Not only is this good for memorizing scripture, this is great background music for your home during the day. Your subconscious mind is always listening.

KIDS MEMORY TOOLS (That you can use too!)

1. Draw Your Sword

Found this one on Pinterest I love it.

draw your sword scripture knifes

 

 

 

 

 

2. Adventure Bible Memory HD app

App-ipad-Eng-home-450

Love this one!

Bible memory is fun for kids with the Adventure Bible Memory HD app for the iPad. Try this free version of Adventure Bible Memory HD to experience the features in the full app. Do verse scrambles by filling in the blank, choose easy/medium/hard, and earn cool prizes like adventurous pictures and sounds. Even record your own voice reading. Great for multiple users.

 

 

3. 365 Bible Promises 

UnknownThis app is similar to the Jesus Calling app. It is a good source for simple scriptures to memorize for kids.

This app allows you to have the scripture ready on your phone, providing a perfect time for little ones and those moments when you are waiting.

(Deuteronomy 11:19 “Teach them as you go.”)

 

4. Bible Verse Scavenger Hunt

This happens once a week when you introduce the scripture of the week. I hope you like this – it’s an original from monacorwin.org!

Choose a scripture. Ex: “The joy of the Lord is my Strength.” Jeremiah 8:10

  • Write each word or a phrase from the scripture on individual sticky notes. Also include the location of the next note.
  • When they reach a location they are given one more word to add to that weeks scripture.
  • At each location they will find one more word that adds to the scripture verse. They then read the previous found words and the new one before they can hunt for the next sticky.
  • When they have all the notes they are sent back to where they started. They all repeat the verse (its ok to read it) and receive something “sticky” like candy or sticky buns.

These little detectives are now ready memorize that scripture for the week.

5. See it. Say it. Eat it.

Scripture is sweeter than honey.

We all like rewards. Here’s an end-of-the-week scripture memorizing reward.

Display the scripture in your kitchen in a prominent spot. You can use:

  • A wipe board
  • A large photo frame that has glass in it. Put a pretty piece of paper under the glass – nothing too busy because you will need to see the scripture written on the glass with a wipe-off marker.

Now, put a bowl of candy next to it. At the end of the week or end of the day, have the kids recite their scripture. See it. Say it. Eat it. Scripture memory can be sweet.

6. Jesus Calling for Kids

Jesus_Calling_iphone-ipad2kidsYou can try it for free for 7 days but you’re going to want it after that. This app is intended to be a daily devotional, yet it is a great source for your weekly scriptures. It even has a little conversation starter under the verse.

 

 

 

7. Craft Stick Memory Fun

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I found this darling idea on Pinterest. It provides another fun way to introduce the weekly family scripture together.

 

 

 

 

 

8. Builder Dad Scripture Activity

This can be used for large sections of scripture or small ones.

  • Write scripture words or phrase on separate sticky notes or pieces of masking tape
  • Tape them to blocks or Legos
  • Put blocks in a bowl on table
  • After dinner, pass the bowl and allow everyone to draw out a few blocks
  • Everyone stays seated as Dad reads the first word of the week’s scripture
  • Then Dad says, “Who’s got the second building block?”
  • The family helps decide who’s got the right one and passes the piece to Dad
  • Dad then leads them in reciting of the partial scripture and then asks again- “who’s got the next building block?”
  • Dad continues to ask and build until that scripture is complete

Music

We are a music family and know the power of singing. Try these:

9. Scripture Memory Songs: Verses About Being Special

Sing and learn by topics. This one focuses on being brave.

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10. Seeds Family Worship: Power of Encouragement

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It’s not free but worth the money.

Listen to it on iTunes before you buy. Then download it and start memorizing scripture. (CDs available on Amazon)

 

That’s it! 10 for you and 10 for them!

Which ones are you going to try? Join the community of moms on my Facebook page.

Equip a friend and share this post

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Fifty Shades of Gray

“Fifty Shades of Gray” Q & A
“Fifty Shades of Gray” Q & A 2048 2048 Mona Corwin

This isn’t the post I want to write for Valentine’s. I wanted to write something peppy and Pinterest-like. But, I must be true to my promise to be genuine with you.

First, let me say that it’s my honor and greatest joy to serve you with information and encouragement in your womanhood. I hold the relationship of mentor and friend tenderly in my heart.

With that said, let me start…

I long to see women living in the fullness of their design and that includes sex.

In recent decades, the line between black and white regarding sex has blurred to gray. So it was no surprise that a book like Fifty Shades of Gray was written.

What did surprise me was that 100 million women have read the book. What saddened my heart was many of them were Christian women. What shocked me was that the movie would be released on Valentine’s Day. A day meant for love and commitment was the day when potentially millions of women would be seeing exactly the opposite.

“There is an attack on what true love feels like to a woman and
what true love looks like in a relationship.”

Mona Corwin

It was then that I realized if I was going to be true to my promise to talk about the hard stuff, I would have to write a post I had been putting off.

As a spiritual mentor, I’ve received many questions regarding this book/movie and others like it. Wanting to be helpful to those I mentor, I studied erotica, intimacy and the effects of it all on spirituality and marriage.

Will you take a moment to read a few questions I have received along with answers I have given? As you do, will you hear the answers given in my most tender voice – not one of judgment, but one of sisterhood that would never want you hurt or deceived.

 

Question: “I have longings that my husband isn’t meeting. Isn’t it ok to read books like Fifty Shades of Gray?”

Answer: While sex is gratifying to you as an individual, it is ultimately designed as a covenant between two people. God created sex to be enjoyed within a covenant called marriage. Anything outside of that will never satisfy. It is the only place where the wonder, adventure and fun of sex in covenant can be fully experienced.

  • Even research agrees. The National Survey on Christian Female Sexuality highlights that married Christian women have the most fun and most sex of all women in the study.[1] Yet there are still women all over the country, including Christian women, who are lonely and desperate for intimacy.
  • The temptation to fulfill their longing is everywhere. Then, along comes something erotic wrapped in romance and they believe the lie that it is ok and they begin to indulge in it. While it’s true that the longings will be satisfied in the moment, it is also tragically true that the indulgence is at great expense. The temporary indulgence will actually move them further away from the intimacy they long for.

“The truth is, erotica erodes intimacy each time making it even
harder to fulfill the longing of a woman’s heart.”

Mona Corwin

Question: “It’s not like I’m having an affair, it’s just fantasy, so why not?”

Answer:

  • Bringing another person into your sexual life, even through fantasy, is a violation of the design and covenant. It is very difficult to be in a fantasy and reality at the same time. One interrupts the other. And the one that can be manipulated by your mind to please you will win. Aka: the fantasy. Again, fantasy erodes the intimacy between a man and a woman with other people in your thoughts or in the room. Erotica erodes the connection between you and your mate.
  • Erotica shifts the focus from us to me. It makes sexual satisfaction solely about self-satisfying and not the God-kind of intimacy.
  • God’s design: a relationship where each person is able to share themselves and their feelings with vulnerability and love. A self-giving, life-long friendship where in safety you can know and be known and be real. Real is always better than fantasy. Books like Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas, suggest that sex is actually giving, not getting.

“Authentic sexuality is highly fulfilling.
Expressed in covenant love, it moves us to share
our lives, bodies and our very essence with our mates.”

Mona Corwin 

Question: “I’m not hurting anyone and it spices up our sex life. I’m married, so that’s ok, right?”

Answer:

  • While it’s true that hormones and chemicals might temporarily fire things up, that blaze isn’t going to stay burning without adding more wood to the fire. Science shows that the ability to fire it up the next time will require more and different erotica. This means one book or one movie will never be enough.
  • We are familiar with the thought that pornography for men is very visual. However, for women, it is highly relational.
  • Science shows that it starts as harmless romantic stories or soap operas to online erotica and eventually to porn. Don’t be fooled. It happens to women every day, whether they are married or single.

Question: “I’m single and I have desires. So that’s ok, right?”

 Answer:

  • Yes, your desires are real and yes you need to address them in the light – not in the dark or in any shade of gray. Some things really are black and white. Thinking you’re saving yourself for marriage and using erotica as an outlet? You’re deceived. The stakes are too high for you as a woman and for your husband if you marry.
  • Do not be condemned by your own sexual sensations. Learn how to deal with them in a godly way. Honest community and resources that answer your questions from the Bible are good places to find answers to hard questions. I recommend a few of the best books and websites at the end of this article.
  • Erotica and romance will draw you out and connect you in a way that can easily step over the line of romance to pornography. This will create unrealistic and harmful expectations for men.
  • Fantasy and erotica can become your “mate,” and worse, can become your “god.”
  • Women of all seasons are turning to pornography of different kinds to meet their desires.[2] Sadly, the fastest growing users of online pornography are teenage girls.[3]

Good News

Yet, there is some good news this Valentine’s Day. God isn’t about the big NO for everything regarding sex. He’s all about the sex. He created it to be adventurous, fun and bonding. As women, perhaps it’s time we looked at the original intent of sex and start enjoying all of it. Frankly, I’m glad Christian women are asking questions and getting real answers. Here’s to Valentine’s Day and putting true romance back into the bedroom. Be a friend and Share this post today!

This post will most likely generate questions some about this topic or another one. If you have questions or want to encourage women on this topic, join the conversation on Facebook or email me confidentially. Join the community and conversation of women who are helping restore the value of womanhood, marriage and children.

Here are some other excellent books, YouTube videos and websites.

  • “Pulling back the Shades” by Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery
  • “The Passion Pursuit” by Linda Dillow and Dr. Juli Slattery (10-week video course for women)
  • “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas
  • “Intimate Issues: Twenty-one Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex” by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus
  • “Is ‘Fifty Shade’ series harmful to your marriage?” The spiritual reason.
  • “What are you waiting for? The One Thing No One Ever Tells You about Sex” by Dannah Gresh
  • “And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity” by Dannah Gresh. (10-week study for teens)
  • Authentic Intimacy – Best site for hard answers
  • Dirty Girls Ministries – An online accountability community for women overcoming sexual addiction, especially porn or erotica.
  • X3pure – An online thirty-day recovery program featuring confidential, streaming video workshops.

[1] The study, titled “The National Survey on Christian Female Sexuality,” was conducted by Debra Taylor, M.A., MFT, Archibald Hart, Ph.D, and Catherine Hart Weber, Ph.D. An AASECT-certified sex therapist based in Ventura, Calif.

[2] Pornography Addiction a Growing Problem Among Women

[3] Teens and Porn: 10 Stats You Need to Know

Watch video: Is ‘Fifty Shades’ series harmful to your marriage?

Christian mentor

3 Ways to Demolish the “Someday” Mentor Trap
3 Ways to Demolish the “Someday” Mentor Trap 596 300 Mona Corwin

If you’re a Christian woman and you know a woman younger than you are, then there is a job opening for you. 

Help Wanted: Women to help us not mess up so much and to learn about Jesus.
That’s basically it.

The day I learned what mentoring was about I was all in! As a young married woman with 3 kids, I thought the sky had parted. Help was surely on the way. God had not left me defenseless, knee deep in diapers and drying out spiritually. He had a plan. Through scriptures like Psalm 78 and Titus 2 he designed and avenue for women to help women.

My excitement soon dwindled as I realized there weren’t many women who wanted to mentor. I couldn’t understand why there wasn’t a line of older women wanting to help younger women grow in Jesus, their marriages and parenting.

I soon discovered that the art of mentoring had been missing for several generations. Most of the older women I saw still had careers and hobbies that filled their busy lives.

Recently, I was speaking to a group of older women and expounding on the benefits and methods of mentoring. I noticed that some of the women were old enough to have been possible mentors for women like me all those years ago. Why were they just now starting to mentor? I couldn’t resist, so I just bluntly asked, “Why didn’t you mentor long ago?” I was surprised by the answers like:

  • I didn’t know what mentoring was. No one mentored me.
  • Titus 2 sounded out of date in a modern culture.
  • I was too messed up to help anyone else.

But the most common answer was, “Who’s got time for that? I know I should and I really want to… I’ll do it someday.”

You don’t have to fall into the someday trap. This website is created to serve you and equip all your mentoring moments. Perhaps learning ways to incorporate mentoring into your daily life will help you on the way to mentoring. You may not have time to get together with someone in an ongoing mentoring relationship, but you can still bless younger women with your encouragement and hard earned wisdom.

3 Ways to Demolish the “Someday” Trap

1. Be Mindful

As you are going about your day, be mindful of mentoring opportunities. My favorite place to find opportunity is the grocery store. I keep an eye out for women who look like they could use a friendly face and I give them mine. You never know who is struggling on the dairy aisle. Or you might discover a sister that could use a break at the office and then you give her one. Mentoring is coming along side another and pointing them to truth, to peace and to Jesus. And that doesn’t take a lot of time at all.

2. Seize the Moment

Be brave. If you see someone who could use some advice or encouragement, take a deep breath, say a prayer and step into the mentoring moment. A seminary degree isn’t needed to offer encouraging words to the weary woman with two kids screaming in her shopping cart.

Most of us know how it feels to be frustrated and misunderstood. Mentoring offers encouragement to others – that they aren’t alone, we understand and God does too.

3. Lean in and Listen

Intentionally engage. Ask questions and then lean in and listen. Some women may not want to talk but many will. Just someone noticing and saying, “I remember those days, it gets easier.” Or asking, “You ok?” Women are wired for relationships and we have the knack to spot another hurting person. So next time, just go for it and engage with another sister who could use a good word or two.

Okay, so there are three ways to get you started. You can break the “someday trap” by being mindful that mentoring moments are everywhere. Then, be brave and seize those moments as you intentionally lean in and listen to someone else’s heart.

Challenge for the week:
Find a mentoring moment and step into it. Let us know how it went. And to those of you that do mentor, where do you find mentoring moments in your life? Please join the conversation of mentoring below.

And if this blog has encouraged you, please share it with a friend.

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Mona Corwin, Creator of the MomsLikeUs Academy, Podcast and Community