You might have had this moment… He hands you your gift, you open it and with a stunned smile you think “what made him think I wanted THIS?” You my friend have entered the gift disappointment wasteland.
A wasteland? Really Mona isn’t that a bit dramatic? Actually no. Number 1 it is a waste of time, money and love. Number 2 its a waste to be disappointed when there is another way.
You CAN avoid gift disappointment. Let’s face it most men don’t mean to get the gift thing wrong. They really at their heart level want to please you and make you smile. So what goes wrong?
Susie Miller an expert at better relationships has a great article that I think will help you. It’s called “SUPER HUSBAND: able to do almost anything-except read your mind.”
One of the most common complaints I hear from men at Christmas time or any other time is… what does this woman want from me? I can’t read her mind!
Pssst…. Hint Hint Girl…
He really can’t read your mind. Really. Trust me most men if they could they would but they can’t. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you or aren’t thoughtful. They really can’t read your mind!
Men are wired differently than women. Wired for direct needs, problems and fixing them. They are quick action minded. Like waffles everything has a square.
Women are like spaghetti. Everything we are and do and touch and feel is all connected and it all makes sense.
I know I know the world will try to tell you that gender doesn’t matter and that we are the same. So how’s that working in your world?
I had to learn this the hard way. Being disappointed with gifts and his efforts only led me to a wasteland of a huge argument where he felt unappreciated and I felt like a brat.
So here are a few hints from me:
- Communicate with your man.
- Give him options. Like would you like a list or a picture or a website?
- Avoid the “if he loves me he would know” trap. It’s a lie!
- Be a student of your man. Learn how he accepts advice and give it to him in a clear kind way,
- Be grateful. You knew I’d tell you this. No explanation needed right?
- Love him well.
Girl it’s ok to want him to get you the perfect gift. Truly it is. But from one woman to another he just can’t read your mind. So help a guy out. HA!