Caught myself this week kinda pouting that I wasn’t getting enough fun in my life. It’s not the first time I’ve had to shake my all work and no play head into reality. Can you relate?
This might not be for you but if you are like me “all work and no play” I’ve got something to help you get some balance in your life quick.
Let me explain.
I have always been responsible and diligent, almost to a fault. I lived by the motto “Get your work done and THEN you can play.” It worked super well as a kid and as a college student and then an employee. It worked out pretty well because I had the weekend to play.
Then I had kids. My job was now SAHM and my work was with me 24/7.
I was wearing myself out. I would feel guilty if I did anything remotely fun. Especially if there was some “task” sitting there waiting.
How many of you feel like your job as a mom is never ending?
Do you follow my “get your work done then play” life? Well if you do, it goes to figure that you are in the NO time to PLAY zone too!
Frustration is the only thing that can ensue. There is always more on the to-do list at the end of the day. Keeping us in the never-ending cycle of guilt and hope that maybe we can actually get it all done tomorrow… then we can play.
“STOP THE MADNESS!” I’ve told myself many times and this week I told myself it again.
I knew what was happening. It happened to me so many times in my years of raising kids and I knew how to stop it.
I had fallen into my old pattern of looking at my mothering as a JOB. Which makes sense and most of us have heard the phrase: “All moms are working moms” right?
It seems simple. In a job you have a task, finish it and then you get paid fore it. Does that sound like motherhood?
NOPE, there is NOTHING about being a mom that is even remotely like a JOB.
Your mothering will never be done
Because your mothering is
NOT a JOB to DO,
It’s a ROLE to Fulfill.
Finally wisdom came to me as I remembered those words.
Maybe we need to quit treating our role as a mom and homemaker like a job to do and start seeing it as a role to fulfill.
Being a mom is a role of great worth. It’s so valuable that there you can’t put a price on it.
Words Mean Things
Let’s look at what the dictionary says about these terms.
Job
Webster’s 1828 Edition: A piece of work- anything to be done. An undertaking with a view to profit.
Free Dictionary- a paid position of regular employment. A task or piece of work to receive pay.
Role
Free Dictionary- A function assumed, or part played by a person for a particular situation. Capacity, position, responsibility. Ex: “She greeted us in her various roles of mother, friend and daughter.
From these definitions we can clearly see that mothering is a role.
What about the work I have to do Mona?
I hear ya! You still have work to do within your role but the work is secondary to the role.
Good News
Enjoy your role and do your work. And if there are things left on the to do list… so be it. That list facilitates your role but it is NOT your role.
Your role is to connect and teach and nurture and YES have fun with your kids. Your role is relational. And as in any relationship laughter and fun things need to happen for there to be healthy growth.
So, Lil Mumma, today I gave my own self a Mona the Mom Coach talk. I reframed my thinking about my role and put that to do list where it belonged, in second place to my family.
I will still keep plugging away at that list for sure. But I am not going to let it get in the way of my role as wife, mother, and homemaker! I hope you will do the same.
Motherhood It’s NOT a Job It’s an Adventure… Live It!
